Yes, I could be blogging about my training for my half-marathon, but this is much more fun.
Penny went in for a much needed grooming today at Mud Puppies in Austin. I had the misfortune of being the one to take her in. Anyone with a dog knows that they are so psyched when you call them to go with you in the car. They think they’re going for a joyride. The truth is, they’re oblivious to their fate.
In the car, she’s taking in the scene around her, enjoying the AC blowing right at her face, chillaxin in the front seat, seemingly on top of the world. I imagined her talking and what she’d say. It might go something like this… “This rocks. Look at me. The neighborhood dogs don’t have it as good as me. I’m cruising with my owner lady. The only thing that would top this moment off would be if she let me sit in her lap but she keeps blah-blah-blabbing about how it’s not safe and I need to ‘sit’ in this seat over here all by myself. Whatever owner lady. Wait a minute. Wait a freakin’ minute!! What? Why are we coming to a stop? Where are we? Hmmm, not at the vet’s office because I was there yesterday and that bastard in the white coat gave me a shot that hurt like hell, then put something in my heiny that shouldn’t have been there. NOT comfortable. Where. Are. We. OH NO! That smell is all too familiar! It’s where they torture me with a wash, cut, clip, ear hair pulling, and god only knows what they do back there in the heiney again!!! Sweet Jesus, Mary and Joseph, someone save me!!!”
She then starts to shake like a leaf. Walks in just fine but hightails it back to the door and puts her paw to it as if to say, “Please open this #$%#$^ door for me.” I walked over and picked her up, tried to comfort her in my arms. Still shaking, it was a wonder she didn’t pee all over me. The girl behind the counter proceeded to tell me that they’re like kids in that they calm down as soon as you leave them and you walk away. I don’t buy it. They’re nothing like kids. Just like preschool and kindergarten teachers, they just say that to put your own fears at ease. Lucky for them, I didn’t really care. I had things to do and had to leave Penny to fend for herself . Mama’s busy. Keep it together.